For all of you “people” out there who actually enjoy The Mars Volta, I have one thing to say to you: you and your band suck. Why? Because they aren’t even a band.
From left to right: Retard #1, Whiny Loser #1, A Black Dude, Whiny Loser #2, Retard #2
This was brought to my attention when my friend and I were listening to their acclaimed musical album (if you can even call it music) Frances The Mute. Here’s the blow-by-blow of the album:
Try this if you actually like this album.
Cygnus…Vismund Cygnus: Wow, 13 minute opener. That’s quite a way to start an album. If only I could get through the entire song…oh wait, it just repeats itself so I don’t even have to listen to it all. NEXT SONG.
The Widow: The only *ACTUAL* song on the entire album, this one is listenable at the most. Whiny vocals mar this otherwise alright song.
L’Via L’Viaquez: Another 10+ minute song…I don’t think I can be submitted to torture like this much long. I mean, the guy sounds like he’s crying for God’s sake.
The Rest of the Album: This is nothing but 45 minutes of them farting around with their guitars. It isn’t even good farting, its sick, wet, nasty farting that sounds somewhat like a child being mauled with a license plate and a broken Jack Daniels bottle. Not good.
So there it is. The Mars Volta isn’t a band; they are just a stupid, idiot-prog group of dumb, whiny induviduals who feel the need to fill the music world with their own vomit and bile. Please don’t listen to Volta, if you do I will be forced to send the ninja on you.