While I was playing my current MMORPG of choice, World of Warcraft (Spinebreaker, name Kuromori), I had a shocking revelation, nay, EPIPHANY: Cereal is the most perfect MMORPG gaming food on the planet Earth. The cereal in question was Frosted Flakes, though I am quite sure that this theorem can be applied to all cereals healthy or otherwise. Why you ask? Look at these top reasons:
1. Cereal is Delicious: It’s true – cereal is actually little tiny molecules made by God himself to bring good taste to everyone. Heck, even the sucky, bran cereal is pretty good. But when you divulge into such classics as Cocoa Crisp, Fruity Pebbles, Trix, and many others, you begin to see just what good taste really is. If you have never seen the light, I condemn you, and force you to eat sick nasty petrified spinach the rest of your life.
Figure 1: Don’t Like Cereal? Eat boiled spinach, crazy person.
2. Cereal is Nutritious: Unlike other favorites such as pizza, ice cream, and cookies, cereal can be quite nutritious. Such nutri-favs include Grape Nuts, Raisin Bran and many others. However, other not so nutritious ones are not that seriously bad for you. Even my beloved Frosted Flakes contain no fat whatsoever, a little over 100 calories and 11% Vitamin A, 10% Vitamin C and 25% Iron. Not bad in my opinion. So drop that huge slice of Super Combo ™ pizza and step up to nutrition.
Figure 2: Frosted Flakes Nutrition Facts
3. Cereal is Easy to Make: Look at this retarded easy cooking: 1. Open cereal and pour into bowl (careful of any sort of toy inside the package!), 2. Open milk bottle/carton/udder and pour onto cereal, covering most of flakes/balls, 3. Eat with spoon. If that isn’t easy, walk to your local hospital and check yourself into the mental asylum portion, as you obviously aren’t fit to be in society.
Figure 3: Don’t Know how to Make Cereal? Go here.
If these three items don’t entice you to go towards the Way of the Cereal (Registered Trademark), then I don’t know what will. I guarantee in just one delicious taste of a nice sugary cereal during an extended WoW or Guild Wars session will set you free. And if it does, send PayPal. Thank you for your time.